OK, Too many requests for a race report just forces me to get it all out in the open. I have to give many thanks to the amazing athlete Iron Man of a Man among us, Chris Dettmar. He gave me months of advice and endured long rides with me all the while telling me how great I was doing. He read War and Peace at Bartlows waiting for me once but he always acted like he just got there. After many happy send offs from our Morningstar Family, we had an easy 2 hour trip to the expo and then over to the race location so we could park our bikes ( is the right Ironman term "stage our bikes")?, and took a practice swim in the Choptank River. A River??? It looked like the Atlantic Ocean to me...where's the other side?? Mmmmm, salty water with a mixture of gas fumes from the boats. After showers and dinner at a down home Italian place Chris found us, we got to bed early, after reading last minute texts of encouragement from DeeDee. Steve wanted to know why she told me I had trained hard and to be confident, but she didn't say that to him...just Good Luck...Let's see how all that training paid off! Up without an alarm at 3:45, off to the special parking place on Belvedere Street. Two minutes after arriving, all the street parking close by was gone, so it was well worth the early arrival. Pink Porta-a-loos for women Deets!!! I was getting a look at my competition, and noticing all the fancy ass bikes around me in my 55 plus comrades. I looked like the ugly stepsister who had no clue why she was picked to be in this crowd. I quickly left them and went to find Steve who was wearing his yellow bathing cap and rainbow goggles even though his swim wave wasn't starting for 2 hours. I got in the water right after the pro's were off, at 7 am. My wave was the 50 and older and the handicapped. I guess there are some advantages to aging in this crowd. The swim was much longer than our practice swims in my backyard, but the salt water helped the lack of wetsuits. It was all nice and smooth for 15 minutes till the other waves starting swimming over me..".Calm Down Guys, You've got a long morning ahead of you!" They didn't even stop to listen to my advice. They just wanted to get away from all the women wearing the "old and disabled" white swim caps. I was thrilled at the first Transition when there were so many bikes in my row still there. I'm like, wow , I was OK in that swim after all. I'm a beast!! Let's get on the bike course MF'r ( Hi Todd!) Well, I was warned by Mary Klaff that I would be passed on the bike quite a bit...OMG....I felt like a spectator on my bike!! And I was pedaling the whole time!! BUT, Those were some nice lycra asses passing me....EYE CANDY the whole bike ride I must say. Took my mind off how ridiculous I felt acting like I knew what I was doing there. At mile 15 Chris passed me like a high speed train . I don't know how he knew it was me...He was a blur to me. Maybe he saw me ahead of him for 10 miles, its that flat and desolate!!! It's really cool how the volunteers hold out cold Gatorade and water bottles at the stations so you just whizz by and put your hand out and grab!!! The first comment I got from a spandex ass on his fancy zipp wheeled 20 thousand dollar bike going by me was "You make this look easy!" My anger translator said he meant "Who the hell let you out of the nursing home?" Second comment was " Good Job" Translation..."Wow, at your age and still able to ride a bike" Third Comment...."Keep it up!" Translation...."There's a medical tent in a few miles, and I don't want to stop and help you ." But being the ever upbeat person I turned these three phrases into my mantra for the next 40 freaking hot boring miles with no spectators anywhere , just fancy darth vedar helmets passing me every damn second.... YOU MAKE IT LOOK EASY, GOOD JOB, KEEP GOING. Over and over in my mind..sometimes outloud to keep my image up of a crazy old hag on a bike. As the bike course ends, we get a glimpse of the runners. I decided then and there that I was not going to do that!! But back to the transition and what the heck...how did all these bikes already get back.....I guess some of these old ladies passed me after all. The only way to describe the run was the Bataan Death March. But here comes the sweet revenge...I passed hundreds of lycra clad fancy trisuited up men and women who were walking the 13.1 instead of running.... Is that an option I wasn't aware of. Hell no!!! I loved passing them all with my 61 on my calf. I really had to hold my tongue and not say....where's your fancy bike now cowboy??? It was a hot horrible run but I wanted it all to be over. So after a hug from Steve at mile 6, yes, he stopped to hug me during the run!!! I filled my bra top with ice at every water stop and hung in there. Will do it again if its in Alaska...oh, wait ...we have to swim some of it...maybe not.  - Marcy