Donna R. was in Key West this past weekend scoring wholesale deals on grass skirts and coconut bras for the WDF cheerleaders, so she asked us to pinch hit for her.

Thank god it had stopped raining cats and watermelons by the time a scant shivering 40 of us showed up at Sunrise Valley Elementary School this morning. Temps were in the low 50s and the ground was still pretty much of a slogfest, so Moshe F. offered a paved-surface alternative for those who didn’t want to go slip slidin’ on the trail run today.

But first, a bunch of announcements. Proud papa Serge Y. and his wife had a baby boy, Issac, on April 24. Prez Tim C. mentioned the farewell potluck breakfast for Marj L. that Joe F. is hosting on May 24. There’s also the upcoming Relay for Life that Fernando B. is heading up on May 31 and June 1 at South Lakes High School.

Due to its popularity, the Women’s Training Program is now closed and fully subscribed. The Interval Training Program is now open and the first session takes place on June 11. You can sign up on the Web site for 12 weeks of Coach Cindy’s inspirational workouts at Herndon Middle School. Here’s hoping this year that the parents of those tiny tykes don’t let ‘em horse around on the track and throw cinders when we come charging by. Oops, did I say that out loud?

Still sidelined with a half-bionic, half-moronic-looking boot, I set off with walkers Bridget M. and Chuck H. The runners popped up like jack rabbits here and there at various intersections as Chuck tantalized us with descriptions of the mystery movie he plans to screen this week at the Turtle Pond Cinema. The flick is British and edgy and has lotsa sex, nudity, and profanity. Hmmmm….. Trainspotting? Nope, that’s Scottish and Chuck’s movie doesn’t involve folks slithering outta toilets. It’s well acted, he said, so obviously no Tom Cruise.

We discussed possible running mates for Obama and got on the topic of skanky Congressman Fossella, the one who admitted last week to spawning a love child (seriously; the guy’s a salmon) with a lobbyist while his family in Staten Island was none the wiser. He recently got nabbed for a DWI, too, so sometimes karma really does slap the cretins of the universe upside the head.

Somehow we managed to cut the walking course short, so Bridget and I climbed into my car to escape the rain, coming down then in buckets, and eavesdrop on the runners coming back from the W&OD. They all looked like they’d taken a shower.

We had to get out of the car to hear the good stuff. Carrie C. told us she’s just returned from Key West, where she went on a vacation with seven female friends and visited a clothing-optional bar. Wisely, she and the girls didn’t last but a few minutes there. Kishan B., who did the trail run today, remarked that the mud wasn’t that bad but the course was much hillier than the Boston marathon. Tim C. and Young N. led a contingent of runners somewhere off the trail and got lost but said their extra mileage was intentional to get the full 5 miles in. Carl D. felt compelled to let everyone know that he runs commando to cut down on “wind resistance.” O-kay….

Cris H. can do 40 “man pushups,” she said, but opted not to demonstrate that ability in the wet parking lot. Kelly N., whose husband Tim N. will be shaking it with the other male WDF cheerleaders come June 28, decreed that double chins and love handles should be verboten on the cheerleaders, yet potbellies are okay. That’s the Buddha double standard, I suppose.

Today we took over Vie de France for breakfast, where Michael F. told us that last weekend’s Frederick marathon was brutal because they’d changed the course and diverted it uphill through some fairgrounds. While Michael was pounding through the full 26.2, Tim C., Ellen M., and the Bradfords, who had done the half, drove by to chide him about how “glad” he was to be doing the full marathon. Now, you see where bullying leads? It leads to running.

If you’re being bullied, by the way, just let Carl know and he’ll take out your assailant faster than you can say GU. He told us he’s studying a form of martial arts called Krav Maga or Cro Magnon, or something like that. A bunch of us waxed poetic about the uniforms and the bowing and all that other respectful stuff associated with martial arts. Not in Carl’s class. The students are taught to run toward people wielding baseball bats, to do vicegrip head and neck locks, and, in general, to do whatever it takes to just plain lay each other out---and they do. Yikes!

Helen H. came by to show us her finisher’s medal and fun t-shirt from last weekend’s Cincinnati 10K Flying Pig, her first 10K in umpteen years, which she ran with her 25-year-old niece. Ed C. and Ann D. did the Flying Pig half marathon. They didn’t dress up, but lotsa participants did; Helen said there were snouts and pig ears a plenty on the runners.

Dennis H. said that this morning he saw the first Obama bumper sticker on a Reston Runners car. He hypothesized that whatever presidential candidate our club supports, the other candidate generally wins. “Don’t make me put a McCain bumper sticker on my car,” I told him. I didn’t want to yarf in that fine establishment, after all.

I believe Jill may have been a bit lenient concerning Donna R’s absence this weekend.  In Key West, the weather was sunny with a high of 85 and a low of 78.  In Reston, it was showers mixed with rain and precipitation with temps in the 40s and 50s.  In other words, for a few more sunbeams, we get kicked to the curb and forgotten like Rudy Giuliani (he was running for president, remember?).  I hope the Mallory Square panhandlers sufficiently harassed Donna while she was there.  However, with it being Mother’s Day, Donna certainly deserved the trip.

At the start of the run on Sunday it was 48 degrees, 83% humidity, and cloudy, but it wasn’t raining. There was also a high probability of hills Sunday AM.  The respite in the rain was in tribute to the wonderful moms who should be more appreciated than they are.  After all, who but a mom would actually enjoy pancakes that taste like semi-warm batter simply because they were prepared by her kids on her special day?